Glenna, our children can surprise us sometimes with their ‘peculiar maturities’. Maybe the answer is to sit the kids down for a talk. You might even begin it with a question such as, “What do you think? Do adults stay much the same during their adult life or do they change?” I’m willing to bet that at least your sons are of an age where they have a grasp of the latter. Couldn’t you perhaps take the discussion from there? I’m sure I needn’t remind you how carefully you need to tread and it’s only a suggestion.
I know this much: when I was in high school, my dad had the right idea and he shared with me the times he was perplexed and uncertain — that is, he let me in on his humanity. My mom didn’t even when her humanity was bleeding out of her seams, if you follow me. It can mean a lot to young people of that age when a parent lets them in on his/her humanity and your sons at least are at the age where our parents being, above all, real with us, shoots up in importance. Test the water and, if the temperature feels right, I’d guess you can do that. But don’t sacrifice your dream for them; are you sure you won’t come to resent them for what might be your mistake? Think about it.