If you can count on your children as allies in such a ‘war’, haven’t you already won? Maybe the boys, at least, should pose questions from your book to those other adults. Assuming the difference between your honesty with them and the other parties’ probable (you know the situation) attempts to bully or b.s. their way out of truthful answers (I remember the difference from my own high school days), what can the other (presumptive) adults do to you or your kids?
I believe with you that the truth DOES liberate us (some wags have said; after it makes us miserable) and because of that my counsel, for what it’s worth, is still: Go. Launch Overlord. Hit the beaches. So long as you can count on your kids being on your side, I say the inevitable price that liberation brings will be worth it. But your answer to that is what really counts here. But remember the difference between kindness and ‘niceness’. Kindness seeks to build people from within; niceness just doesn’t want to ‘make trouble’. Don’t be ‘nice’; be kind and may God guide you in telling the difference, my dear friend!