I'll take a guess: these AMHs (adult male hominids; not sure I'd call them men) are probably more shallow than they look or sound at first. Maybe, Yael, they look in your eyes and feel like all that passion, etc., will swallow them up and they'll never find themselves again. Maybe some had a dad or grandad who died right after their wives of decades did and drew a mistaken lesson from it. And this may not be something a wife or girlfriend can do much about. Nor should anyone expect them to, sez I.