“It doesn’t feel good to know that they were always able to be this person and chose not to do so.”
‘Always able’? Ever hear of things like objective distance and perspective? Maybe things sink in when the situation’s different?
My first wife passed away 9 1/2 years ago and I’m still realizing things I learned from her. Does that mean I’m stupid or do you realize how uneven personal growth can be and usually is for just about everyone?