Sounds like you’ve answered the just questions you’ve had through your life. Most of us need help, and more-than-human help at that, to answer them. Have you ‘answered’ your questions without that? And where does the free will God grants to all, for good or ill, enter into your picture?
You needn’t answer me about this; take these questions and let them ‘simmer’ awhile. In any case, I think you may need the answers much more than I do.
My mistake. It seems we’re pretty close to the same age, fellow Boomer.