Wow. So much substance here, I can hardly figure out where to start.
But I think I’ll begin with, Baldwin et al. seem to have more of ‘us’ listening to them, and taking them seriously, where more of us are acquainted with life’s ‘shades of grey’, am I right? That is, they’re not taken up with the need to see oneself as a Good Person. I discarded that false need decades ago, and I think that’s a primary reason why I can absorb at least some of what I hear from you, Marley, Baldwin et al. Doesn’t Scripture say we are all sinners and that we have all been redeemed? Last time I looked, that was still there.
And I can truthfully say that dam’ little of what I’ve had and still have has anything to do with ‘merit’ on my part. I know this and make no (?) bones about it.
I also want my fellow pale males (and females too) to ‘turn their heads and look’; if you ever go to my website at http://nopartyline.blogspot.com you might find a post or two to that effect.
Sometimes I think that if the NOI admitted palefaces, my dad might have at least thought of joining them. I’m a second-generation (at least) anti-racist.
And some of my fellow palefaces also swallow the zero-sum lie: that is, that more for y’all must mean less for us, even of such abstracts as liberty and equality! And that comes from 3 1/2 centuries of lies from the planter class and giving poorer palefaces little bits and pieces of power, authority and prosperity along with other ‘harmless’ (to the planters) gimcracks. But not education — at least not until compelled to do so by losing the Civil War.
And then they proceeded to hollow it out as much as they dared.
I’m glad to say, you also accidentally remind me that most of Trumpelthinskin’s supporters are NOT poor whites; their average yearly income is 75,000+, I remember reading. And as I think more about this aspect, and the two ostensibly conflicting truths that 1) Jim Crow’s ‘benefits’ to the poorer whites were mostly psychological and 2) ALL whites have SOME ‘privilege’, even if, for some, it’s not much more than not being stopped for a busted tail-light or followed around a jewelry store or something like these. In order to build an all-races working people’s coalition, a synthesis of these two points might need to be worked out. At least I can see that down the road.
Btw: where do you and your daughter live that your school is that recalcitrant about the 1619 Project, which I also think ought to be part of the curriculum from high school on up? There might be quite a bit of difference from one area to another.
I hope I make it clear that I agree that privilege ought to be the ‘default setting’ and the context in which any merit comes into play (if it does) .
I also think that two bad ideas which need breaking for real progress to be made are: first, that the world is zero-sum. Second, that racism only involves individual meanness and ill-will.

You might also be interested in this post. I read it yesterday and could hardly agree more with it. Here’s a link to it; I’d call it an important part of the work needing to be done.https://medium.com/equality-includes-you/healing-white-shame-choosing-responsibility-d93d2692547e?source=post_page-----6cc243ce1973----------------------
I’ll keep my copy of your post on hand as it is substantial enough for me to return to and maybe have more to say about this or that part of it later. Thanks very much for sharing it; keep it up!